Everyone talks about the importance of networking. I get the point. The more people who you know, and who know a little about you, the more likely you will “make a connection” that will pay off, whether it be in person, or online. I hate the underlying assumption, or presupposition about networking, not to mention that I’ve had the experience of being at in person gatherings where everyone is “marketing” to each other under the guise of networking.
My objection is simple.
It’s too easy to get into a mode of thinking about other people as tools, or means to an end, or some “thing” to be used. I don’t like it. I don’t do it, and I think there are a lot of people who agree with me.
That’s not to say I don’t like getting to know people or vice versa, but I don’t deliberately go out to try to find people to “use” for business purposes. So, what do I do?
I’ve done this for years, in fact for over two decades, and it’s worked out really well, garnered book contracts, and a lot more, although that’s not the intent.
I participate. It’s that simple. I talk, I involve myself in conversations on and offline. I “show” myself through my passions and interests and my willingness to learn and help others learn. I enjoy the process for itself, and not for what it will get me.
I say: “Here I am. If you like what I say, great. If you don’t, that’s fine, but here I am”.
… and that, to me, is what works and I can go to bed at night knowing I haven’t depersonalized my relationships by treating people as objects to be used.
Comments?
#1 by Mitch McCrimmon on January 8, 2010 - 11:25 am
I agree with the sentiment that using people is distasteful. But, the question is: Why do you assume that networking entails using people? If you see all of your business contacts as customers then why wouldn’t you think that approaching them could help them meet some of their goals? I think, when people network or approach potential business contacts in any other way, they can do so with either of two attitudes: 1) how can I use this person for my own benefit or 2) what might be the mutual benefit of my getting to know this person. The second attitude could be expressed also as: how can I help this person in a way that is also of some benefit to me.
Anyway, depending on what attitude you adopt, networking does not have to be distasteful or unethical.
#2 by Milan Davidovic on January 29, 2010 - 11:59 am
Perhaps what we’re missing are observed, documented, and analysable accounts of networking activity — Networkers in the Mist, anyone?