CNN is reporting massive demonstration in U.S. cities, apparently lead by an underground organization called: Revolutionary Front For The Preservation of English Conventions Long Outdated.

Lead by octaganerian Che Strunk, demonstraters are lobbying the U.N. for a formal code of punctuation to apply to all languages.  Che, in an interview, said:

“This has to stop. We have language terrorism going on, with the evil doers attempting to corrupt our way of life by changing the number of spaces after sentences. Not only that, we have odd spellings used to confuse the masses, like behaviour, and honour.  We believe this attempt is funded out of California, where all evil
things happen.”

In a related move the Dead Writer’s Society released a statement supporting a move to language purity. Unfortunately, no members of the Society were available for comment, seeing as how they are all…well…dead.

CNN has pre-empted all coverage of the Afghan situation to cover this breaking story. It has also created a website where information is constantly updated at:

http://CNN-I-don’t-have-enough-to-worry-about.com